Top Ten

The week before the semester begins is busy time for both students as well as staff and faculty. In particular, the Admission and Financial Aid offices field an enormous number of phone calls, emails, and walk-in traffic.

Occasionally, there comes a phone call that is truly worth celebrating. Lori Sprague in Admissions has kept track of a few of the most entertaining bits and I share them (with permission) secure in the knowledge that at least one will bring a smile to your face.

Yes, they all actually happened.

1. Do you have degrees in Bounty Hunting or do I have to take bull***t classes first?
2. You are not doing what I want, you need to be more of an active listener.
3. I’d like to make a hair appointment.  I don’t understand, you do massages and clean teeth, why don’t you do hair?  That doesn’t make any sense.
4. I’ll tell you what I’m going to do.  I’m going to take a deep breath, I’m going to hang up the phone, and I’m going to call back and hope that I get someone different.
5. Do you know milliliters?  I need to convert milliliters to ounces.  Can you tell me how to do that?
6. I’d like to order a transcript, but I need to tell you what classes I want on it before you transfer it to the U of I.
7. We need toilet paper out here!  I’m out in the S building and we are completely out of toilet paper!
8. I’m...like...a U of I student...
9. Hi, can you tell me where the parties are?  I heard you have a lot of parties down there and I need to know where they are.
10. I’d like to have my car worked on, can I make an appointment with you?

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